When word first broke that there was going to be two Snow White movies released in 2012, it only took one glimpse at the stunning trailer for Snow White and the Huntsman (in theaters Friday June 1, 2012)to settle the which-one-will-be-better debate.  No contest. SWATH looks epic in every sense of the word, and considering the massive talent both on and off screen, it’s no mystery why.  I know exactly where I’ll be this Friday night, and I’m guessing if you’re reading this blog, you have plans to hit the theater too.  In the meantime, we have a very cool giveaway thanks to Universal Pictures via Big Honcho Media where you can win a SWATH Prize Pack including a T-shirt, necklace and ring set, cell phone mirror, and a copy of SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN novel. Enter below!

You can read all the previous Top 10 Lists HERE

Top Ten Best Bad Movies Ever

By Jess Haines

Howdy!  My name is Jess Haines, and I’m the author of the urban fantasy novel HUNTED BY THE OTHERS, and its upcoming sequel TAKEN BY THE OTHERS (available TODAY January 4, 2011 from Kensington).

Abigail invited me over to share a top ten list of my choice.  It was obvious I had to share with you my terrible—err, terribly AWESOME taste in bad movies.  I love inflicting these films on unsuspecting victi—err, my amazing friends who have equally awesome taste in bad movies!  So, without further ado…
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10.  Tank Girl

This comic book movie adaption amuses me to no end.  On the one hand, you have the trainer lady from Free Willy (oh, yes, Lori Petty, I recognized you!) playing the most awesomely fun heroine I’ve ever encountered, on or off screen.  The movie was a box office flop, so don’t be surprised if you haven’t heard of it.  Personally, I found it hilarious and insouciant, and I loved every wacky moment of it—especially the song-and-dance routine where The Madam sings Let’s Do It—Let’s Fall In Love

9.  Spaceballs

A Mel Brooks movie that parodies SciFi classics like Star Wars, Star Trek, and Alien.  Stars include John Candy, Bill Pullman, and Rick Moranis.  Need I say more?

8.  Evil Dead / Evil Dead II / Army of Darkness

Let’s break this one down.

• Evil Dead: This is the “serious” horror flick of the trio.  Includes a scene that closely resembles tentacle rape by possessed trees.  Kinda freaky.  Not as highly recommended as the other two.  People die, come back as zombie-critters known as Deadites.  Scary as hell.  Love it!

• Evil Dead II:  This one is freaking brilliant. Basically, it’s a retelling of the first movie, only not quite so dark and disturbing (though there is still enough dark and disturbing to go around).

• Army of Darkness:  This is the most slapstick of the bunch.  Ash (Bruce Campbell) gets thrown back in time to the Dark Ages to continue fighting the Deadites.

All three movies star Bruce “The Chin” Campbell.  You can’t really call yourself a nerd until you’ve seen these movies often enough to memorize classic lines like, “Groovy.” “Give me some sugar, baby!” and “This is my boomstick!” Sally forth and geekify yourself!

7.  Tremors

This one is about gigantic worms that pop out of the ground and eat people, plus a young (HOT, did I mention HOT?!) Kevin Bacon.  I also adore the fact that Reba McIntyre, Michael Gross, and Fred Ward star in this flick.  My kind of movie!

6.  The Naked Gun

I miss Leslie Nielsen, the deceased star of this flick.  He was brilliant in this mishmash collection of slapstick action/adventure liberally mixed with groan-worthy puns.  The clueless cop goes in search of terrorists out to assassinate Queen Elizabeth II.  There are a number of interesting appearances in this movie, including O.J. Simpson, Weird Al Yankovich, and a few others.  Mostly I love it because Leslie Nielsen stars in it.  I would’ve mentioned Dracula: Dead and Loving It instead, but that one doesn’t quite qualify as craptacular.  Besides, this one’s a blast, too!

5.  Blade Trinity (AKA, Blade III)

Guys.  GUYS.  This movie is so bad.  It hurts to watch this movie.  The stilted dialogue, the plot holes big enough to drive a truck through, the complete and utter lack of physics in the fight scenes…!  If not for one fact, I would say it rates up there with Manos: Hands of Fate.  What saves it is shirtless Ryan Reynolds.  RAWR.  I watch this movie purely for Ryan Reynolds dialogue, particularly when he’s snarking along with Parker Posey.  In fact, I think I will go put it on again right now and fast forward to all the good parts…

4.  The New Guy

As the tagline says, A Zero Will Rise.  Dizzy Gillespie Harrison (DJ Qualls) is a geek in every sense of the word.  His school doesn’t appreciate geeks (witness the fake rubber breasts incident).  The last straw is when Mrs. Whitman breaks his penis in front of the whole school.  He gets himself expelled after some creative efforts, and heads over to a new school with a brand spankin’ new identity after spending some time in jail and learning how to be cool from one of the inmates, Luther (Eddie Griffin).  Hilarity ensues.
My only beef with this movie is the EverQuest reference made by his friend, (Jerod Mixon), at one point in the movie.  Dude, Kunark is a continent, not a single zone or level.  Just, ya know, FYI.  In case you needed any additional proof of my genuine nerdosity, there ya go.

3.  Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

BEST.  MOVIE.  EVER.
This movie is made of so much win, I can’t even tell you.  Scott is just this guy, you know?  But he meets this girl and he thinks he might love her.  He has to get rid of his current girlfriend and beat the new girl’s seven evil exes in order to date her, but that shouldn’t be a problem, right? 
Oh my god, people, he actually BATTLES THE EXES.  Like, full on super saiyan battle!  It’s a freaking video game made into a movie!  How cool is that?!  If you haven’t seen this and you consider yourself any shade of geek, you should definitely see this movie.

2.  Zombieland

This movie was hysterical!  It’s narrated by Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg), who meets up with a few new friends as he struggles to survive in a post-apocalyptic America overrun by zombies.  Woody Harrelson was amazing, as was the rest of the cast.  Totally wasn’t expecting the Bill Murray cameo, either!  Aside from a stellar cast and hilarious dialogue, this movie is filled with excellent tips for those of us who find ourselves fleeing for our lives from hungry zombies!  Remember:

1. Cardio!
2. Double Tap
3. Beware of Bathrooms

There are plenty more useful tips—but you’ll have to see the movie to find out what they are…

...and the most terrible, most amazing, most craptacular movie on my list is…

1.  The Pest

John Leguizamo plays the most annoying scam artist ever to live.  He owes the Scottish mob—yes, you read that right, the Scottish mob—$50,000.  Lucky for him, he’s been offered a $50,000 scholarship by a racist German manhunter, Gustav Shank (Jeffrey Jones).  All he has to do is survive for 24 hours while Gustav does his very best to kill him so he can mount Pest’s head on the wall to complete his trophy collection of human prey.

This movie embodies all that is childish, annoying, and politically incorrect.  It’s quite possibly one of the most offensive films in my DVD collection.

And I love it.  SO MUCH.  Really, people, there must be something wrong with me for loving this movie even a smidgen, let alone as much as I do.  Not really recommended for anyone because I can’t see anyone else being able to sit through something this annoying and honestly enjoy it.

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So what do you think, guys?  Any of you disagree with my assessments of any of the above films?  What awesomely terrible movies should be added to my to-watch list?

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Jess Haines is a displaced New Yorker with a penchant for the silly, the obscure, and the fantastical. Los Angeles is home for the time being, since it consistently meets her daily quota of strange. She’s currently working on the H&W Investigations urban fantasy series. Find out more about Shiarra Waynest, drop her a line, or join her mailing list at www.jesshaines.com!

Visit Jess Online: Website|Blog|Facebook|Twitter Want to read more from Jess Haines? H & W Investigations 1. Hunted By the Others (read my Review) 2. Taken By The Others (read my Review) 3. Deceived By The Others (2011) Anthology Nocturnal (read my Review)

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Interested in doing a Top 10 List on All Things Urban Fantasy? 
CONTACT Abigail

“…With werewolves this time!”  My favorite quote about the New Moon movie by a non-Twilight fan.  He’s probably less than thrilled by the impressive box office take New Moon made in it’s opening weekend (scroll down to see the two records it already broke). I, on the other hand, am thrilled.  You can weigh in your opinion and read my comparison of the movie & book HERE and check out the poster mash up below.

“New Moon box office records break all those set before. New Moon broke the midnight showing box office record set by Harry Potter… New Moon box office sales for the midnight showing totaled a whopping $26.3 million…” -Associated Content 

“The Twilight Saga: New Moon grossed $72.7 million on Friday, according to estimates from Summit Entertainment, shattering The Dark Knight’s previous opening-day record of $67.2 million. The astronomic figure puts Bella, Edward, and Jacob on a clear path to possibly the biggest opening weekend ever, all the more impressive considering New Moon is opening in 342 fewer theaters than The Dark Knight did last year.”-EW.com

THE TWILIGHT SAGA:
NEW MOON

Domestic Total to date: $72,700,000 (Estimate)

Distributor: Summit Entertainment
Release Date: November 20, 2009

Genre: Romance
Running Time: 2 hrs. 10 min.

MPAA Rating: PG-13

 

 

Here are some of the best and worst fan made movie posters. I’ll leave it up to you to decide which is which:

 

 

 

Yep.  I was one of those people who went to the midnight opening of The Twilight Saga: New Moon on last night (or technically this morning) and I even took my teenage sister and a carload of her friends (all clad in T-shirts and other Twilight paraphernalia plastered with Robert Pattinson’s face and one lone Jacob holdout) with me.  Yes, there was a lot of screaming. 

I finished re-reading the book the night before(I wanted all the details as fresh as possible prior to seeing the movie. The basic story is the same in both the movie and the book:

The Twilight Saga: New Moon Book 

Reading level: Young Adult

Hardcover: 608 pages

Publisher: Little, Brown Books

Language: English

ISBN-10: 0316160199

ISBN-13: 978-0316160193

"Shoot," I muttered when the paper sliced my finger; I pulled it out to examine the damage. A single drop of blood oozed from the tiny cut. It all happened very quickly then. Edward threw himself at me, flinging me back across the table... I tumbled down to the floor by the piano, with my arms thrown out instinctively to catch my fall, into the jagged shards of glass. I felt the searing, stinging pain that ran from my wrist to the crease inside my elbow. Dazed and disoriented, I looked up from the bright red blood pulsing out of my arm-into the fevered eyes of the six suddenly ravenous vampires. Legions of readers entranced by Twilight are hungry for more and they won't be disappointed. In New Moon, Stephenie Meyer delivers another irresistible combination of romance and suspense with a supernatural twist. The "star-crossed" lovers theme continues as Bella and Edward find themselves facing new obstacles, including a devastating separation, the mysterious appearance of dangerous wolves roaming the forest in Forks, a terrifying threat of revenge from a female vampire and a deliciously sinister encounter with Italy's reigning royal family of vampires, the Volturi. Passionate, riveting, and full of surprising twists and turns, this vampire love saga is well on its way to literary immortality.

The Twilight Saga: New Moon Film

Opens Friday, November 20, 2009

Runtime:2 hr. 1 min.

PG-13 some violence and action

The supernatural tale of star-crossed lovers continues as the Cullen family flees Forks in order to protect Bella (Kristen Stewart), and the heartbroken high-school senior discovers that vampires aren't the only creatures in town. Realizing that Bella will never be safe as long as he's around, Edward (Robert Pattinson) makes the difficult decision to leave his beloved behind shortly after her 18th birthday. Reeling from her loss, Bella embraces self-destruction after being comforted by Edward's image during a moment of mortal peril. But as heavy-hearted as Bella may be, her old friend Jacob (Taylor Lautner) distracts her from her sorrows by helping her renovate a weather-beaten motorbike. When Bella encounters a former adversary with a sizable grudge, she's rescued from harm at the last second by pack of enormous, ferocious wolves. Subsequently delving into the history of the Quileutes, Bella discovers the secrets of Jacob's tribe while looking forward to a reunion with Edward that may have deadly consequences. ~ Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide

I was late in jumping on the Twilight phenomenon, I read Twilight only after seeing the trailer for the movie version.  But I made short work of the series and have been eagerly awaiting New Moon ever since. And overall, I think director Chris Weitz did a wonderful job.  The effects are beautiful without screaming, ‘hey look at me I’m a special effect!’  I’m a huge werewolf snob when it comes to movies (the weres from Dog Soldiers are my favorite from recent years, whereas the Van Helising were was horrendous),  so I’m relieved to report that the wolves in New Moon look particularly stunning in a way the previews didn’t quite capture. Another bonus: There isn’t the sweat/glitter this time out either.  When the vampires are in the sun they look much more like I imagined they would from reading the books: like their skin was diamonds.

The actors have all settled into their roles (specifically Michael Sheen who plays the Volturi vamp Aro with a delightful abandon).  Even Taylor Lautner who I had misgivings about has grown-not just physically- into a more than credible Jacob Black.  He doesn’t quite portray the simmering anger that Jacob battles throughout the book, but he does bring the humor and devotion that is so vital to his character to the big screen.

The differences between book and movie are for the most part minor; a compressed scene here and there, some liberty taken with dialogue etc. Certain characters are given smaller/larger roles than in the book (Charlie has some great not-in-the-book scenes).  All of which serve to tell the story better given the film medium.  The biggest difference is Edward.  He is absent for most of the book, but in the movie Bella’s hallucinations are not just audible, they are visible too.  Again, I think this was a good decision that worked to better communicate the story on screen.

If the consensus between the teenagers I brought with me is any indication (not to mention the applauding audience when the credits rolled), you won’t be disappointed.  Our whole pack agreed that New Moon was a better movie than Twilight.  As for me,  I got home at 3 am and had to start re-reading the beginning of Eclipse before I could go to sleep.  So, yeah, I’m tired today, but really, really happy.

So I know The Host isn’t an exactly an urban fantasy, but if you haven’t read it yet, go, right now.  I picked up The Host the same day as Breaking Dawn, but after being somewhat disappointed by the latter I wasn't exactly eager to read the former.  The description of The Host sounded like a very hardcore science fiction effort, one that I was afraid would not be able to support a credible love story.  I am more delighted than I can say that I was wrong.  This book has one of the most gut wrenching love stories ever put to paper.  The sci-fi elements (despite being among my least favorite genres) didn't bother me in the slightest .  On the contrary, I found them to be provocative and deeply emotional.  And, I think this will appeal to urban fantasy lovers which is why I’m sharing the movie news with all of you. from Stephenie herself:

“Hey guys, great news! The Host is on its way to the big screen: I'm so excited to be working with Nick Weschler, and Steve and Paula Mae Schwartz to bring The Host to a visual format. They've all been a dream to work with, so lovely and collaborative, and I feel like we're in a really good place to make a great movie together. And then to have Andrew Niccol writing and directing? Truly awesome. If you've never seen Gattaca, go watch it now. One of my favorite movies of all time. It's such a great example of character driven science fiction, which is ideal for The Host, no? I'm having an absolute blast imagining different dream casts, which I would post if people didn't take my silly blogs so seriously these days. I'm looking forward to seeing the cast lists you come up with in the fansite forums, and if any of them match mine. So, very exciting. Yay Host!XO-Steph”

From Variety: Producers Nick Wechsler, Steve and Paula Mae Schwartz have used their own money to acquire screen rights to “The Host,” the first adult novel written by Stephenie Meyer, author of the “Twilight” series. 

Andrew Niccol will write the script and direct.

Meyer’s novel is a love story set in the near future on Earth, which has been assimilated by an alien species that call themselves “Souls.” They are benevolent parasites that subsume the conscious of humans and take possession of their bodies. One such soul, The Wanderer (so named because she has wandered among so many different worlds) is fused with a dying human named Melanie Stryder, in an attempt to locate the last pocket of surviving humans on Earth. The Wanderer cannot subsume the forceful Melanie, and they battle for the girl’s memories and her spirit.

Wechsler and the Schwartz’ are separately teamed on “The Road,” the John Hillcoat-directed adaptation of the Cormac McCarthy novel that will be released November 25 by The Weinstein Company. They are also producing the Paul Schrader-scripted “The Dying of the Light,” and an adaptation of the Pete Takada book “An Eye at the Top of the World,” which is being adapted by Ryne Douglas Pearson.

They will develop the project independently.

The trio wanted to make a science fiction film and fixed on “The Host.” In addition to writing four volumes of the “Twilight” series, Meyer has been heavily involved in the blockbuster screen transfers, and she spurned several overtures for “The Host.” The producers continued lobbying the author and her reps at UTA and The Writers House with a significant offer, a strong vision for the project, and a collaborative spirit. Meyer eventually said yes.

In fact, Niccol first came under consideration after Wechsler and the Schwartz’ asked Meyer her favorite science fiction films, and “Gattaca” and “The Truman Show” were in her top five. Niccol wrote and directed “Gattaca” and scripted the Peter Weir-directed “The Truman Show.”

Niccol read the book, met the producers and author, and the New Zealand-born writer/director sparked to the assignment. 

“We wanted Stephenie to be involved in the adaptation, and have her endorse and be part of the creative decisions,” Wechsler said. “`Twilight’ has proven she more more about what works than most.”

Summit releases the second installment of Meyers’s vampire series, “The Twilight Saga: New Moon,” on November 20.

Variety reports:

Universal makes 'Wicked' deal

Thompson to adapt first book in Marr's series

By MICHAEL FLEMING 

Universal Pictures has acquired screen rights to "Wicked Lovely," the bestselling first book in a fantasy series written by Melissa  Marr that will see its fourth installment published next year by Harper Collins.

The studio bought the book to be produced by Wild West Picture Show Prods., and has hired "Edward Scissorhands" scribe Caroline Thompson to adapt it.
Wild West is Vince Vaughn's U-based shingle.
The protagonist is a 17-year-old girl who can see fairies, and must fend off the advances of a fairy king determined to marry her to save the planet from his vengeful mother.
CAA brokered the book deal with Writers House and ICM reps Thompson.